oops. moving on.

man, i havent posted on here in quite a while. i dont even know why. partially laziness. definitely laziness. but whatever. maybe ill back post some stuff to fill in the blanks a bit. im not sure though.

ive spent my past two weekends exploring an amazing building at a hospital i am otherwise very familiar with, having grown up in its footprint. its always been a place that has held a special place in my heart because of this. i can remember being younger and having my dad driving me to my soccer game, cutting through the grounds since the campus was so massive, and there being 15mph signs on the roadway because “patients on roadway” or something to that effect. that fascinated me.

and some of my friends who lived especially close to the asylum were instructed that if they heard a whistle, everyone had to go inside and lock all first floor doors and windows, because this meant a patient was missing.

then when i was 19 and in college and my friends and i would pile into my car and drive to the complex, driving past the endless amounts of abandoned buildings, fogging up the car window glass in dead silence, straining to see if we could see anything inside of those dark windows. then security would suddenly appear behind us and follow us out of the complex until we were back on a main road, silently warning us to keep out. at the time it was a thrill.

since then i have entered the few but beautiful buildings left on the rapidly dying campus multiple times, every time leaving satisfied, but never fulfilled. i always wanted more.

the building sat at the epicenter of the campus, beckoning me with every visit. but i never got near it, knowing that the center portion was still in use. i knew people who had entered, but i didnt dare.

then i heard there was an open door. surely this was too easy, i thought. so a friend and i approached said door early one sunday morning, and to our dismay, someone must have located it and locked it. after walking around the entire back portion of the building and somehow not getting caught by police, and nearly getting run over by a white engineering pickup racing around a blind corner, we decided to attempt this one another day.

that day came 2 weeks ago. i was forever trying to make plans with a friend to approach this building, a friend who had been there before, but she lived far away and kept pushing off plans. then i was trying to meet up with another girl who made quite regular visits to the building, but nothing was working out.

fuck it, i said. lets go.

so like the ninjas we arent, my friend and i parked, walked about a half a mile in plain view, and entered.

and then i realized i didnt have my camera memory card.

luckily i had my manual film slr loaded with black and white film, so i shot sans digital that morning.

while i regretted not bringing my memory card, i was still ecstatic to be in such a beautiful building i had been dreaming of entering for so long. it was disheartening to see the state of the outermost wings, with roofs seemingly comprised of pickup sticks. ready to collapse at any given moment. many of them already had. water was everywhere. this is not savable, i thought to myself. such a shame.waste of a beautiful building.

the closer we moved to the center portion, which is still in use, the less decay there was, and the quieter we had to be- sometimes a makeshift wall was the only thing separating us from the people on the other side. im not sued to exploring partially active buildings.  this definitely messed with my nerves. all someone had to do was open that door, and i would be standing right there in the wide hallway, like a deer in headlights.

we only explored half of the wings that day, the mens side. but i loved every inch of it, and a week later returned with another friend, this time checking at lest 6 times to make sure my memory card was in the camera.